Jour après jour

It’s weird how I still got butterflies for him when I saw him, still get that gr.7 feeling hah. But what was even weirder was dreaming about him the night before and then seeing him in person the next day. That confused me. But what confused me even more was how quickly I got butterflies that disappeared. It’s like he still means something to me but not as much? Idk. It still feels like every thing in this world points to him being the one. It always, always felt like that. How can he be the one if he’s not here with me right now. Maybe he will be in the near future. How can I risk that chance? I’m tired of waiting, constantly hoping for something that may or may not happen. It’s exhausting. 

But I would give up anything for him. Love made me a fool that way, love makes sense in the most confusing way. I would throw it all away for him. I guess I just answered my own question.
Am I still waiting? Yes
Do I still care for him? Absolutely. 

How can someone claim to love you so much and in the very next moment, rip the world right out from under your feet.
But that’s the bittersweet part of love.
As often as you’ll be hurt, love will teach you to love again. Maybe not right away, but when you’re ready.

“How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.”
— David Foster Wallace, The Pale King (via larmoyante)

(via a-thousand-words)